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[post_content] => Several months ago,
Briana
(my wife) started feeling drawn to do a different kind of healing work. She began getting strong intuitive impressions about what was at the root of people's challenges - sometimes health related, sometimes whole-life related - and this came with a sense of how to "intervene" on their behalf on a subtle level.
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Anyway, I know how this sounds. I think most people have a hard time accepting healing modalities that aren't really tangible - myself included. So I tried to prep her for some lukewarm responses, saying things like, "This is pretty esoteric stuff ... it’s not for everyone ... people find it hard to measure what exactly it's doing..." and so on.
Much to my surprise, the participants were all enthusiastic about their sessions. Everyone reported feeling some kind of alignment or affirmation - and that's nice - but what really surprised me was the number of people who felt like a longstanding block in their life had been removed, or that they felt notably better, or that an issue had resolved, or that their life had taken a turn for the better.
For some reason, I was one of the last people to experience it. I guess I didn't want to have to tell her it didn't do anything. I had a wrist pain that had been nagging me for a year (something called DeQuervain's tenosynovitis). I had received multiple massages, adjustments, and acupuncture treatments for it. I even wore a splint for a few months. Lots of things helped in the short term, but it kept coming back.
When Briana asked me what I wanted to work on, I said, “Well, we might as well go for my wrist.” I actually felt kind of guilty in choosing it because I thought it was a *structural* issue and that nothing in the realm of “energy work” was going to touch it. Sure enough, the next day I kept testing it out and it still hurt. Oh well, didn’t hurt to try. I decided not to report the bad news to Briana though. I’d wait until she asked me about it.
A week later, I noticed I’d been doing lots of manual labor with it – hammering, lifting, sawing, drilling – and it wasn’t bothering me. That was weird. I poked it and prodded it. I couldn’t get it to hurt. Now it’s been a month and it hasn’t come back. I honestly don’t know what to say. Other than… maybe you should work with her if you feel called to.
Learn more about Briana's energy work
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We recently opened enrollment for this year’s life coach training program, which always feels exciting to me. There’s a buzz of activity as the new participants get oriented and we’re introduced to the next group of open-hearted individuals who are devoting themselves to helping others. First everyone goes through an eight-week program called Sacred Expansion which is kind of like “cleaning house” before we get into the details of how to help others.
Of the many topics we cover in the coaching curriculum, one that people often mention as being both incredibly basic and incredibly life changing is our relationship with agreements. Agreements can be seen as a primary tool of creation. Ideally, the process begins with getting in touch with the impulse to create – what is sometimes called “divine will” – and is informed by your life purpose. This way the effort comes with its own batteries, rather than draining us. Having a clear vision and setting a clear intention of what we want to create are also important.
When we then make an agreement (or agreements) in service to this intention – with ourselves, with others, with the universe – we initiate what my teacher Matt Garrigan called “a contract for fulfillment.” We engage the power of our word. And as we follow through on our agreements, momentum builds and opportunities arise. It never fails.
Except when it does.
The problem is, we often make agreements without any of the consciousness I described above, and then we consider it no big deal to break those agreements. While we might recognize, sadly, that what we intended never materialized, we often have a blind spot around the fact that we didn’t keep the agreements we made to support the intention. One of the things our coaches learn is how to bring clarity to this process for their clients (in a non-blamey way); it’s very gratifying for both the coach and the client. Not only does the client start achieving their goals, most importantly, they learn to trust themselves and their power.
Today I’m going to share with you a basic method for rebuilding the self-trust that’s diminished by broken agreements.
When we make agreements with others, most of us understand the consequences of breaking them. If you break agreements with your boss, you might lose your job. If you break agreements with your friends, you might lose your friends. If you break agreements with family, you might hurt their feelings and lose their trust. In all cases, a relationship will be damaged.
So, what happens when you don’t keep an agreement with yourself? It’s not so different, really. A relationship is damaged, it’s just harder to see. Let’s say you decide to work out every day for a month but you quit after five days. There doesn’t seem to be anyone getting screwed by breaking this agreement. Nobody is mad at you. Of course you’ll let yourself off the hook. But your self-trust is eroded.
If you forgot to pick up your child from school, you would probably make it a priority to regain their trust because you care so much about the relationship. But, chances are, you don’t do that when you break an agreement with yourself. You may be barely aware that an agreement was broken. This matters in many big and small ways.
If you serially break agreements with yourself – you don’t get things done when you say you’ll get them done, you don’t wake up when you say you’ll wake up, you don’t treat your body as healthily as you tell yourself you will – the material consequences are unfortunate, but small. The bigger consequences are things like not being able to count on yourself or giving up your big dreams for ones that are more “realistic” given your history. If you have a habit of breaking agreements with yourself, and now you want to do something big and important, your mind will have a lot of evidence to undermine you.
Here are four important steps for reestablishing self-trust.
1: Become clear about what constitutes an agreement and be conscious of the agreements you make. If you had a passing thought about washing the car and then it didn’t get done, is this a broken agreement? Well, you need to decide that (before it happens). I recommend choosing a format for making official agreements with yourself and sticking to it. If you want to make agreement with yourself to wash the car, you might think to yourself, “I agree to wash the car today,” or you might say it out loud, or you might write it down. Just come up with the terms for what constitutes an actual agreement.
2: Be forthright and clean with yourself. You know whether you meant something to be an agreement or not, and you can’t really hide from yourself. But we pretend to hide, keeping our agreements nebulous, by maintaining a cloudy mental environment. Did I say ONE more game of Candy Crush and then I’d walk the dog? I think I meant to say SIXTY games…Or, I know I planned to work out today, but what I meant was that I would work out unless something more important came up. Be honest. As you distractedly lift your two pound dumbbells while watching The Late Show, ask yourself, Is THIS what I intended when I agreed to work out every morning? Do your best. Think about the quality of participation a boss or client would expect of you, and deliver at that level to yourself.
3: Don’t make too many agreements, especially as you begin this process. If you wanted to get an estranged friend to trust you again after you missed five consecutive lunch dates, you wouldn’t start out by offering to edit their thesis, refinish their floors, and meet them to watch the sunrise every day for a year. You’d be setting yourself up for more damaged trust. Instead, you might ask them earnestly to give you one more chance at lunch, and you’d make sure to get there a half hour early.
The process of reestablishing self-trust starts with baby steps. For the first few days, you might want your only official agreements to be things you’d probably do anyway, like, Wake up by no later than 7 o’clock, and, Have dinner ready by 6:30. Do this so you can become more conscious of your agreements with yourself and the be sure to keep them. Over time, you can add a bit more to your list. But never make an agreement you think you’re likely to break.
4: Clean up broken agreements. Treat yourself like a friend. If you broke an agreement with a friend, you would acknowledge the damage that was done (“I feel terrible about missing your show. I’m really sorry. I cherish you as a friend and I want to be there for you.”). And you might do something special the next time you saw them (like bringing them flowers or helping them with a project) to demonstrate your interest in fixing the relationship.
Likewise, if you break an agreement with yourself, rather than beating yourself up, acknowledge and repair the damage. Believe it or not, there really is a hurt part of yourself – a part of you that takes these broken agreements to mean, I don’t need to keep my agreements with you, because you don’t matter. Affirm to yourself that you do matter and that you can be trusted. Then make a new agreement that goes beyond the one you broke, and be sure to keep it. Or, if you broke the agreement because it wasn’t a realistic agreement (which means you had no business making it in the first place), make a new agreement about something that supports you in another way (some act of self care, for instance), and keep it. Be a person of integrity.
Eventually, you’ll have an impressive mental dossier on your trustworthiness. In essence, you will have demonstrated to yourself hundreds or thousands of times that what you say is going to happen … happens. Then your word will be as good as law. When you say to yourself, I’m going to change the world, there will be a mountain of evidence to indicate that big things are coming. If anything is out of whack in your life, turn back to your agreements, start keeping them, and watch how things fall into place.
If you’re intrigued by the idea of teaching this to others, guiding them through the process of coming into their power and sharing their gifts with the world – then check out our coaching program. Enrollment will be open until April, but Early Bird Pricing ends Tuesday Feb 23rd at midnight!
Be well,
Peter
P.S. One more hint: when you’re in a state of trust, your heart will feel open. When you’re not trusting, your heart will feel tight, clenched, or closed. Tune in.
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[post_content] => “I just feel sad every night. It’s like I can hold it off until dark, and then it all comes pouring in,” I said in tears.
I was in Mexico with a group of close girlfriends and I should have felt elated: it was beautiful, I was with friends I love, and there was plenty of guacamole and margaritas.
But instead I felt like I was completing the final unraveling of a comfortable sweater that I had been wearing to keep me safe and was now coming off no matter how much I resisted. It had been almost a year of this profoundly challenging experience of feeling lost. Really lost.
“Go inside. What wants to come through? Something is shifting that you’re resisting, what if you allowed it to become?” whispered one of my sisters in the circle.
What if I allowed myself to become?
That’s when I started to live that question: what if I allowed myself to become . . . fully me?
Over the next year I went deep inside to find answers and to continue with curiosity, and in that exploration I discovered so much: my soul purpose, unshakable happiness, and a strong devotion to the Truth.
It wasn’t a magical pill, or even an “aha!” moment, it was a seed that was planted that grew and blossomed over time. It was my own curiosity and dedication that brought me on a journey for the evolution of my soul… and to this work to waking people up to their gifts and true calling.
It finally clicked.
“Oh! This is what I’m here for!”
Got it.
The gentle nudges and messages from a deeper source had been guiding me all along to show me my seat in the web of the Universe. And even though it wasn’t comfortable, still isn’t (where’s that damn sweater from before!?), it feels like fully living.
Magic everywhere.
Delight in my work.
Lightness.
Here. Learning. Growing. Ever evolving. Student of love.
So, what about you?
Are you feeling called to do or be something more? Is there some persistent inner voice begging for you to step into your full potential?
That’s the work we’ll do together: align you with your Highest Self.
What that looks like:
. . . where you want to go in your life is clear.
. . . your relationships develop and unfold with ease.
. . . anxiety, fear, and worry fall away as you create deep trust of your soul to lead the way.
. . . abundance flows in to support your life and purpose.
. . . your health and self-care find a significant place in your day-to-day, knowing that it’s an honor to live in this body.
Can you check all those boxes?
If so - high five!
If not - do you want to?
Now, I do this work for you and others every day in my
Soul Sessions– I help you wake up to your own calling, to hear your soul’s voice arise within you and direct your life, to give you clarity and fill you with purpose.
In
Soul Sessions I’ll help you discover who you really are, find clarity, and move beyond the noise that distracts from your most authentic self. If you’re feeling stuck, hindered, or afraid in life, business, or love – let’s work together and set you free of these limitations so you can really soar.
You have so much potential.
It’s time to tap into it.
You are ready.
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(my wife) started feeling drawn to do a different kind of healing work. She began getting strong intuitive impressions about what was at the root of people's challenges - sometimes health related, sometimes whole-life related - and this came with a sense of how to "intervene" on their behalf on a subtle level.
I think we were both at a loss as to how she should proceed with it. I suggested that she try it out on some volunteers and ask them to be to
tally honest about their experiences. She sat with these folks, either in person, or over the phone, asked them what they were struggling with, and dove in - sometimes offering practical advice, other times making energetic adjustments on their behalf. I don't think either of us has better words for it than that.
Anyway, I know how this sounds. I think most people have a hard time accepting healing modalities that aren't really tangible - myself included. So I tried to prep her for some lukewarm responses, saying things like, "This is pretty esoteric stuff ... it’s not for everyone ... people find it hard to measure what exactly it's doing..." and so on.
Much to my surprise, the participants were all enthusiastic about their sessions. Everyone reported feeling some kind of alignment or affirmation - and that's nice - but what really surprised me was the number of people who felt like a longstanding block in their life had been removed, or that they felt notably better, or that an issue had resolved, or that their life had taken a turn for the better.
For some reason, I was one of the last people to experience it. I guess I didn't want to have to tell her it didn't do anything. I had a wrist pain that had been nagging me for a year (something called DeQuervain's tenosynovitis). I had received multiple massages, adjustments, and acupuncture treatments for it. I even wore a splint for a few months. Lots of things helped in the short term, but it kept coming back.
When Briana asked me what I wanted to work on, I said, “Well, we might as well go for my wrist.” I actually felt kind of guilty in choosing it because I thought it was a *structural* issue and that nothing in the realm of “energy work” was going to touch it. Sure enough, the next day I kept testing it out and it still hurt. Oh well, didn’t hurt to try. I decided not to report the bad news to Briana though. I’d wait until she asked me about it.
A week later, I noticed I’d been doing lots of manual labor with it – hammering, lifting, sawing, drilling – and it wasn’t bothering me. That was weird. I poked it and prodded it. I couldn’t get it to hurt. Now it’s been a month and it hasn’t come back. I honestly don’t know what to say. Other than… maybe you should work with her if you feel called to.
Learn more about Briana's energy work
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