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Do you know what finna, on fleek, stan, and W mean? If I didn’t have a teenager I probably wouldn’t either. (I’ll provide definitions below.) The older (and possibly lamer) I get, the more picky I am with my words, and the less attracted I am to jargon and slang.
But I’m guilty of overusing certain words in my work and putting my own spin on them – mostly because they describe a significant aspect of what I do and I haven’t found anything better. Case in point: the words expand and expansion.
I use the word expand all the time to describe the process of transcending your ego, getting outside your comfort zone, and going beyond your human conditioning. Expansion means recognizing that these limitations aren’t real, and even discovering that who you really are goes beyond your personality and even beyond your body.
I use the term often because I think this is generally a really good thing and I believe it represents a form of personal evolution.
Sign up now for Sacred Expansion – an 8 week course devoted to your healing and evolution!
When we don’t challenge our conditioning, we operate according to deep mental programs that define who we can be, what we think, the range of emotions available to us, etc. This “unexpanded” state restricts our freedom and tends to limit our depth of engagement with life – our body awareness, how deep we’re willing to go in relationships with others (and ourselves), our connection to the natural world, our openness to spiritual experiences, etc.
Expanded versus unexpanded isn’t a black-and-white situation. Expansion is relative, always changing, and there’s no end to it. To be open to expanding beyond our limitations wherever, whenever, and however we can is a way of life.
To be clear, “expanded” isn’t the same as happy. There are plenty of people who are happy the way they are, even if there isn’t much (or any) Spirit or growth in their lives. If you’re happy, you’re happy, and I don’t want to try to convince you otherwise!
But once you have an inkling of recognition that there’s more to life than what’s on the surface, it awakens your inner seeker, which has an insatiable appetite for the truth and perpetual inclination toward expansion.
Where do we start? There are countless ways to promote your expansion. In my opinion, two of the most vital and powerful are these:
- Cultivate an inner YES. When life is uncomfortable, we’re pressing against our limitations. When we resist and say “no” to what’s arising, we stay small and confined. When we say yes, the experience changes. When we say, “I’m open to this,” or, “How can I make this an opportunity?” or “How can I grow through this?” or “What is this showing me?” or “How does this support my highest good?” these are all ways of saying YES and promoting expansion.
- Be innocent and curious. One of the biggest hindrances to expansion is all of the shoulds we’re imposing on ourselves and the rest of the world. Some examples: People should let me into the lane when I have my turn signal on! I should be more successful at this point in my life. He should appreciate everything I do around the house! I shouldn’t be sick. Taxes shouldn’t be so high! We all do it. Just watch your mind and you’ll see. There’s a certain arrogance to “should,” as it implies that you know how the world is supposed to be and it’s wrong. Instead, what happens when you release your “shoulds” and your grievances? What happens when you just become innocent and curious?
The third way that I recommend you support your expansion is through our upcoming course, Sacred Expansion. It starts April 1st.
It’s an 8 week journey led by my wife, Briana. She’ll guide you through a nature-based framework for recognizing where you’re limited and discovering who you could be without those limitations; releasing baggage; deepening your connection to Spirit; and building the resilience and courage to continue the process on your own.
Initially, Sacred Expansion was the preliminary phase of our Dragontree Life Coaching training program. We felt this process of “cleaning house” and opening oneself to growth and change was an essential prerequisite before guiding others.
But the response in the first couple years was that the Sacred Expansion portion of the training was, for many students, the most transformative part. So, we decided to make it available to people as a stand-alone course.
Here’s what one of our graduates had to say about it:
Sacred expansion is like a crash course in being a better human. So often, we stop examining what we do and what we say in a meaningful way – we get so steeped in assumptions and learned behaviors, and patterned thinking, that we forget there are other ways to look at things. This is challenging self-work, but at the same time, Sacred Expansion is so gentle, so loving, it’s almost as though the lessons and questions are hugged into you, they are absorbed so sweetly, so completely without judgment or blame or shame. – Heather Wells
I highly encourage you to sign up!
Click here to learn more about it.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
P.S. for those who are out of the Gen Z slang loop. . .
Finna: like a contraction of “fixing to,” as in “going to” – “I’m finna go to the store”
Fleek / On Fleek: flawlessly styled, groomed, perfect, etc. “That outfit is on fleek! That song is fleek!”
Stan: a very zealous or enthusiastic fan
W: abbreviation for “win.” Used to congratulate someone or express a victory or success.
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Over the years of getting to know the graduates of our life coach training program, I’ve found that everyone has a special gift (or several). One that’s especially beautiful to witness is the gift of seeing the light in people.
When we see someone’s light, we help bring it forth. We encourage them to remember who they are beyond their problems. It’s an incredible service. Do you have this skill?
We’re wired to focus on flaws. It goes all the way back to our most animalistic survival mechanisms. Problems can alert us to danger. A pain in our foot might be telling us that it’s inside an alligator’s mouth. A crack in a wall might mean that it’s about to come crashing down on us. So we fixate on the negative.
In today’s minds, the thoughts and observations that emerge from this survival mechanism look more like . . . I should be in better shape. I’m not productive enough. I’m missing out. There’s something wrong with me. I’m probably going to get cancer. People don’t like me. My skin looks bad. I don’t have enough money. I’m never going to do anything impressive with my life.
These judgments are almost always useless and inaccurate. And because we’re usually only semi-conscious of them, they tend to go unchallenged. The result of spending more energy thinking about what’s wrong than what’s right is an epidemic obstruction of the light within us. We forget that who/what we really are is perfect, peaceful, and powerful.
Resurrecting our light has two facets: (1) clearing away whatever obstructs it; and (2) inviting the light to shine within and beyond us, making ourselves beacons in the world.
When you make a practice of seeing the light in others, your own will naturally emerge. As you go through your day, try to see the light in each person you encounter. Even someone who tells you everything’s going wrong if their life. Even the cop that’s writing you a speeding ticket. Even the politician you dislike.
What happens when you speak directly to someone’s light? What changes about your interaction? What happens when you communicate from your light to theirs?
Part of why we feel this is such an essential aspect of life coach training is that you may be the only one in a given individual’s life who’s actively looking for their light. You may be the only one who notices that it’s been obscured but believes it’s still in there. The person themselves may barely realize what’s happened or understand why life feels heavy. Their friends and family may be in the same boat, or they may be so accustomed to seeing them this way that they simply reflect back an attitude that seems to confirm that “this is just how you are.”
It’s a gift to both you and the other party to focus on their virtuous core and call it forth with an inner attitude of, “Regardless of what you tell me of your challenges and limitations, and regardless of your history, I see what’s inside you. I know what you have the potential to be.”
If reading this feels thrilling, like your heart is saying, “Yes! I want to do this for my fellow humans!” then I encourage you to join the Dragontree Life Coach training program. Even if you aren’t in a position to change careers, it’s a learning and growing experience that will deeply enrich your life and forever change how to relate to others.
Be well,
Peter
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Calendula is one of the most astringent herbs for the skin, despite it being low in tannins. This makes it gentle, yet extremely effective to combat skin ailments, from minor scrapes and cuts, to rashes, burns, and chapped, dry, cracked and irritated skin. Calendula officinalis, also known as pot marigold (despite it not being part of the marigold family), is the most commonly used type of calendula in topical applications. It grows easily in sunny locations, and is widely considered by gardening aficionados to be one of the easiest and most versatile varieties of flower to grow, since they tolerate most soils. The florets from the calendula plant are edible, and are often added to spring salads to add a touch of warm color and a slightly spicy aroma and flavor.
When mixed with Lavender essential oil, the combination is a rapid skin healer, and has commonly been used by herbalists for centuries as a poultice applied to burns immediately after the initial injury. Nowadays, things like salves and creams made from calendula, for topical application, are a staple in most herbal first-aid kits and medicine cabinets, and are a go-to for skin irritations such as paper cuts, kitchen burns, chapped lips, and diaper rash. Calendula succus, which is made by extracting the fresh juice from the leaves and young flowers and preserving it with alcohol, is popular among naturopathic physicians, who use it during minor surgical procedures to help heal the incision, and topically on skin wounds and infections. A tea made from the leaves and flowers can be used as a mouthwash to combat gum inflammation and tooth infections, and as a gargle for sore throats and tonsillitis.
As you can see, calendula can be very versatile, and along with Lavender, represents one of the top herbs to keep on-hand for use at home. Organic calendula is one of the top ingredients in our Muscle Melt linament, to help soothe skin and keep it from getting irritated by the strong vasodilators, such as Arnica Montana and Pippali Indian Long Pepper, which give Muscle Melt that cool-but-warm-at-the-same-time sensation that we all love. Calendula is also added into all of our Dragontree apothecary brand lotions, giving them amazing healing, soothing, and skin-calming properties."
-Michele C. (Lead LMT at The Dragontree PDX)
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Do you know what finna, on fleek, stan, and W mean? If I didn’t have a teenager I probably wouldn’t either. (I’ll provide definitions below.) The older (and possibly lamer) I get, the more picky I am with my words, and the less attracted I am to jargon and slang.
But I’m guilty of overusing certain words in my work and putting my own spin on them – mostly because they describe a significant aspect of what I do and I haven’t found anything better. Case in point: the words expand and expansion.
I use the word expand all the time to describe the process of transcending your ego, getting outside your comfort zone, and going beyond your human conditioning. Expansion means recognizing that these limitations aren’t real, and even discovering that who you really are goes beyond your personality and even beyond your body.
I use the term often because I think this is generally a really good thing and I believe it represents a form of personal evolution.
Sign up now for Sacred Expansion – an 8 week course devoted to your healing and evolution!
When we don’t challenge our conditioning, we operate according to deep mental programs that define who we can be, what we think, the range of emotions available to us, etc. This “unexpanded” state restricts our freedom and tends to limit our depth of engagement with life – our body awareness, how deep we’re willing to go in relationships with others (and ourselves), our connection to the natural world, our openness to spiritual experiences, etc.
Expanded versus unexpanded isn’t a black-and-white situation. Expansion is relative, always changing, and there’s no end to it. To be open to expanding beyond our limitations wherever, whenever, and however we can is a way of life.
To be clear, “expanded” isn’t the same as happy. There are plenty of people who are happy the way they are, even if there isn’t much (or any) Spirit or growth in their lives. If you’re happy, you’re happy, and I don’t want to try to convince you otherwise!
But once you have an inkling of recognition that there’s more to life than what’s on the surface, it awakens your inner seeker, which has an insatiable appetite for the truth and perpetual inclination toward expansion.
Where do we start? There are countless ways to promote your expansion. In my opinion, two of the most vital and powerful are these:
- Cultivate an inner YES. When life is uncomfortable, we’re pressing against our limitations. When we resist and say “no” to what’s arising, we stay small and confined. When we say yes, the experience changes. When we say, “I’m open to this,” or, “How can I make this an opportunity?” or “How can I grow through this?” or “What is this showing me?” or “How does this support my highest good?” these are all ways of saying YES and promoting expansion.
- Be innocent and curious. One of the biggest hindrances to expansion is all of the shoulds we’re imposing on ourselves and the rest of the world. Some examples: People should let me into the lane when I have my turn signal on! I should be more successful at this point in my life. He should appreciate everything I do around the house! I shouldn’t be sick. Taxes shouldn’t be so high! We all do it. Just watch your mind and you’ll see. There’s a certain arrogance to “should,” as it implies that you know how the world is supposed to be and it’s wrong. Instead, what happens when you release your “shoulds” and your grievances? What happens when you just become innocent and curious?
The third way that I recommend you support your expansion is through our upcoming course, Sacred Expansion. It starts April 1st.
It’s an 8 week journey led by my wife, Briana. She’ll guide you through a nature-based framework for recognizing where you’re limited and discovering who you could be without those limitations; releasing baggage; deepening your connection to Spirit; and building the resilience and courage to continue the process on your own.
Initially, Sacred Expansion was the preliminary phase of our Dragontree Life Coaching training program. We felt this process of “cleaning house” and opening oneself to growth and change was an essential prerequisite before guiding others.
But the response in the first couple years was that the Sacred Expansion portion of the training was, for many students, the most transformative part. So, we decided to make it available to people as a stand-alone course.
Here’s what one of our graduates had to say about it:
Sacred expansion is like a crash course in being a better human. So often, we stop examining what we do and what we say in a meaningful way – we get so steeped in assumptions and learned behaviors, and patterned thinking, that we forget there are other ways to look at things. This is challenging self-work, but at the same time, Sacred Expansion is so gentle, so loving, it’s almost as though the lessons and questions are hugged into you, they are absorbed so sweetly, so completely without judgment or blame or shame. – Heather Wells
I highly encourage you to sign up!
Click here to learn more about it.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
P.S. for those who are out of the Gen Z slang loop. . .
Finna: like a contraction of “fixing to,” as in “going to” – “I’m finna go to the store”
Fleek / On Fleek: flawlessly styled, groomed, perfect, etc. “That outfit is on fleek! That song is fleek!”
Stan: a very zealous or enthusiastic fan
W: abbreviation for “win.” Used to congratulate someone or express a victory or success.
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I like what you said: “You can control only your own experience.” This is key to resolving conflict. I cannot control the other person’s behavior. You also mentioned “being curious” about the other’s perception and goals. The key to this is to try to state the other’s point of view in a way that he or she says, “Yes, that’s right.” You don’t have to agree with it, you just have to understand it. And encourage the other person to express the same about your perception and goals. Mutually doing this slows down confrontation and speeds up conversation. Thanks for posting this.
Thank you for being so wonderful.
Great thoughtful processes to consider. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your kind words
Great advice. Brilliant and simply put -direct. Thank you. I will definitely take your suggestions forward.
Thank you so much.
Really helpful Brianna. Thanks so much for sharing.