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This month we’ve been focusing on the why and how of self-care. It’s such an easy part of life to gloss over, but hopefully our prodding and poking and relentless nagging have convinced you to start prioritizing you.
Nutrition, body care, community involvement, and relaxation are so crucial to your overall health and happiness, but we believe there is one single act of self-care that is valuable above all else: self-love.
Ideally, self-love is the impetus for all other self-care, making it guiltless and easy, but first you have to commit to loving yourself. Fully. Without hesitation and with complete conviction. You are worthy of love – your own and others’. But, let’s start with yours, because without truly loving yourself you can only let in a small slice of what is being given to you by others.
I understand that being told to love yourself may be like being told to build a spaceship to take us to the moon … you know it’s possible, but you have no idea how to do it, or where to start. Or perhaps you’re already mostly there – you at least like you, so love isn’t a far reach.
Either way, it’s useful to have a little guidance on how to firmly center yourself in your own undying love. Your love will give you strength beyond measure, help build confidence, create freedom to fail and succeed, and give you the conviction that you are valuable and extraordinary, no matter what you do or achieve.
Are you up for that?
Here are five ways to get on the love train:
1. Practice awareness. So many of our thoughts are happening in the background noise of our lives without our paying any attention to them. Try slowing down and really hearing what you’re saying to yourself all day long. Are you saying nice things? Or are you berating yourself at every step?
Turn the volume up on these subconscious thoughts so you can hear what’s going on and address it. If you are telling yourself how you’re messing things up or aren’t doing enough with your life, stop it. Use your will to stand up for yourself like you would for a child.
These thoughts may never go away completely – but the more awareness you bring to the happenings inside your own head, the more you get to decide consciously whether to go on believing this BS, or to make a change.
2. Journal. When we take the time to write out our thoughts and feelings we gain a clearer understanding of who we are and why. Write about your emotions and actions from a place of compassion. Like you’re writing about someone you love and adore. Write about the challenges of your past that you haven’t let go. Yes, we all make mistakes, but if you can reflect on those mistakes with empathy and understanding, you’ll find there is a well of possibilities that emerges.
Every night (or morning, or both) end your journal session by listing all the ways in which you make the world a better place, how you are awesome, and what you’ve done that you’re proud of.
Practice being kind to you. Make it a habit.
3. Make love your mantra. I know it can sound hokey, but repeating in your mind the simple mantra, “I love myself. I love myself. I love myself,” can change the way you feel and think.
If, when you say it, you have an internal aversion to it, like a tightening of the chest or a sick feeling in your stomach, allow these feelings. Don’t resist. Breathe.
It may take awhile until this mantra feels good. That’s okay, it’s worth it to work through the discomfort. I promise.
4. Breathe in compliments. So many of us refuse to receive compliments. I mean, we aren’t outright protesting, “Don’t say that!” when someone tells us we look pretty. But we deflect, or make a joke, or, at best, say, “Thank you.” We’re often not really receiving the compliment at all.
Next time someone compliments you, try really allowing it in. Take a deep breath and imagine all of your cells absorbing that kindness. How much can you accept? Try to make a game out of it and see how full you can let even the smallest of compliments make you feel.
5. Celebrate your accomplishments. In a world of rush, rush, rush to the next thing, to the next project or challenge or race, it’s easy to barely acknowledge finishing a marathon, or completing a design project, or having a deeply connected conversation with a teenager.
Instead, pat yourself on the back, share with your friends, and really give yourself space to applaud what you’ve done. There will always be time for the next thing. But now is the time for sincere reflection on how far you’ve come and what you’ve accomplished, don’t let it slip by.
Fall in love with you.
We believe that this is the secret to creating a more peaceful world. Our inner experience of connection, of love for ourselves, of appreciation of who we are, makes the world a better place. It’s the opposite of selfish; it’s good for everyone.
Love,
Briana and All of Us at The Dragontree
